Saturday, June 15, 2002

If only.....

....I were a boy. With as much vigor for selling opals as I had for chasing girls. Because you know what? I'd be unstoppable. I'd be on the highest salary at work and we'd be running out of stock.

Boys sell well. They sell you their story and more often than not they are peddling something that isn't there. They tell you anything they can to get you to fall in love with them; unhappy with the way your boyfriend clips his toenails on the computer? A suitor will undoubtedly wear that fact down into you until you're convinced that you can't stay with your boy because of it.

As well as exacerbating the niggling fears in your mind they go on to exaggerate their better qualities, and even make some up along the way. You'll hear things like 'perpetual laughter', 'hermetically sealed', and all sorts of garbage that lulls you into a helpless state of distraction while your partner is sleeping. And by the time he's woken up you are gone; pushed into another hopeless relationship with a guy who lied to mold himself into your bed.

Ugh.

Boys. I hate boys. I hate being a girl; I admit, we're so stupid and vulnerable when we're down about toenail clippings. We want to hear sympathy, promises, romance, anything. Anything that makes toenails go away.

But I'd do anything to see through boys.

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

A nightmare for any real artist/designer

Today I received this letter in my inbox:

"I am an AudioVisual designer. One of the many things I do is making flyers for a club in Barcelona, Spain. Because of the low-budget I get for making these, I often use pictures found on the internet. Examples of these flyers (and other work I've done), can be found on my website: http://www.#########.##. You can find the flyers in the 'graphic'-section.
I was hoping I can use one of your pictures on a future flyer.
If you don't want to be on it or don't want to be associated with that club/music, would you also please let me know.
Thanks a lot.

If you take pictures off of the web from other artists for commercial use, that's deplorable. Really. You bet your sweet bippy I don't want to be associated with anything like this.

I was really mortified that somebody could justify stealing other artists' work just because their graphic work is 'under-paid'. I didn't bother to speak my mind to this person, because I'm sure they've got the 'rhetoric' needed for an argument with me and I really don't have the energy to argue about it. This is something that many artists are familiar with. One need only to go to deviantart.com to hear people talk of how they have been ripped. Apart from contacting the rippers' ISP, there is really little you can do without getting lawyers involved.
Stuff like this upsets me. And if you put the hard work into creating something only for someone else to try and take credit for it, you'd be upset, too.

While this website states that they will remove your images if they're featured, what's the chance that you or anyone who knows your work finds it? What if your work wound up on someone's flyer or t-shirt and some piece-of-shit 'designer' who doesn't get paid enough to be talented made the money off of it?

How would you feel?

Thursday, February 14, 2002

The muse's top ten most hated inbox questions/comments of all time

My inbox must be a refuge for natures' mistakes: every hobbledyhoy on the Internet is writing in to me lately, and I'm that close to tearing my hair out.
So I present to you (for your own reference, too) what *not* to do when e-mailing me. Here are the top ten most hated questions/comments at szeretlek.nu.

10. Will you write my name on your tits and send it to me? i'll even post it on my website
Ohhh! joy! I can have my tits on your stupid, mysogynistic and waste-of-bandwidth website! I can't wait!

I hate fansigns. Fuck off.

9. hey how r u my name is justin and i found u on a web site and wanted 2 get 2 know u so write back and send me a pic of your self p.s. i saw what u looked like but it was not clear but u appear 2 b really hot so send a sexy pic.
No. In fact I'm having trouble saying anything, because when I read shit like this I'm stuck for words. I think I have to go now and roll ice cubes over my temples, and then come back after I figure out what dimension you're from.

In essence, don't flatter yourselves by writing this 'hey u really want me im just a nobody' shit. I wouldn't even spit on some of you in real life.

8. hey whats ur age and do u have any pictures on ur web site and if u do tell me how to get there
If you can't figure it out, then I'm not going to bother to tell you. My site is somewhat idiot-proof, thank god.

Honestly. I just delete these. If I have to write back stupid little particulars to 50 blind people every day, I'd go nucking futs.

7. Hi, where do i go to see your cam or cht with you ?? thank u
My website.

6. anyway i would like you to check my site out if you could please... im david and im in the gray jacket there in the beach pics.
Why would I care? I'm a busy girl with a boyfriend and a bunch of other mewling little cabbages in my e-mail to respond to. I don't want to see your beach pics with you and your mom and your dog and all of that shit.

Ugh.

5. i know u dislike requests but i d like to see that wonderfull dress u wearing ... can u please stand up and show that dress ?
Only if you put a bullet into your head for me, dude.

look, I *never* do requests. I do what I feel like: thats what my cam is all about. Your requests fall on deaf ears. Sit back and watch the show, morons.

4. Still watching you, Got such a huge massive hard-on now.
Whoop-di-doo. Tell your girl about it, dude.

Or better yet, let me tell her!

3. u are really cute but it could be better if u smile more!
It could be better if I had a reason to smile more, and people like you just don't give me that.

Fuck off.

2. Hey, do you know what your domain name means? It is a phrase meaning 'I love you' in Hungarian. Cool, huh?
What's cool about that, dude? Ohhh! Right! I get it now! You're assuming that because I have a cam on my page that I'm inherently less intelligent than you and all other dolts who write this kind of e-mail. Do you honestly think that I would choose a name for my domain without knowing what it means? Here's a tip: I *am* half Hungarian, and I named the domain after someone I was very close to in that half of the family died. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go fuck off on a vacation out of my inbox.

And do you honestly think I don't have the vernacular to tell you that it is in fact a word and not a phrase? Idiot.

1..The most hated question of all: Hey, i'd just like to know who did the artwork on your site, it's realy awesome!
I'd like to go back to 1985... whatever year your conception was, and kill you. And all others like you.

Of course, I'm used to this. I am a 'camgirl', so I must have absolutely no talent at anything besides sitting there and looking pretty. It's really offensive when people ask that question; I work very hard on my site and my art and I don't think its fair to question it when I have a disclaimer (an easy to read one, at that) which states that the artwork is all mine. I draw it, I scan it, and I colour is at 3am on a week night before getting up at 7am to go to Uni. I'm exhausted yet proud.

Don't be an ignorant dick, I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck.

Happy e-mailing, folks.

Thursday, January 31, 2002

How dare kids be kids!

In case some of you live under a proverbial rock, Good Morning America recently did a segment on 'camgirls', and the alleged dangers involved. Although I didn't personally view the offending show, I've had enough information (plus my own common knowledge about gutter journalism) to get the gist of the slant. Someone, please save the children! What a horror! These girls and their bawdy behaviour! Where are these young strumpets' parents?

Fuck that. Who is going to save the fucking girls from their parents?

Did you ever think about that, GMA staffers and shitty journalists all over the world? Did you ever think that, perhaps, these girls are only copying their scantily-clad teen idols? The glossy girls in magazines? How about their wishlists: do you blame them for wanting in on a capitalist, consumerist society? Aren't we all bombarded by enough advertising every minute of our lives to realize that they're at no fault for wanting material things?

Mayhaps we've forgotten where we are at. Apparently, this 'trend' just came out of nowhere and it's the girls' fault themselves.

Why?

How can you blame them? This is the only world they know. They didn't create it. Their parents did. So why then are these parents up in arms about their progeny reflecting the world they created?

Who's going to save these poor girls from the idiots who gave birth to them?

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

Porn that needs to die

I can't stand it. Something needs to be done about that which makes my mind irascible and deflates my swollen clitoris to the size of a pinhead halfway through a marathon flogging of Internet porn.